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Even As You And I [KabuHina, NC-17]

Written to commemorate those halcyon days when Kabuto still had legs.*

Hopefully, more fic will be following this one relatively soon. The next chapter of Muma will be done as soon as I can get Hinata to stop rocking the boat and Sasuke to stop waving kunai in Kabuto's face. There's another smut piece I've been working on set in the crackverse that I dearly wanted to post before this one, but it's entirely from Neji's viewpoint and as I've noted before, I completely suck at writing him. It's hard enough writing him in normal situations: writing him when Kabuto is trying to coax him into doing Things Neji Does Not Approve Of is about seventy-billion times harder.

Pornverse. Their second time.

The work of our head and handCollapse )
Been a while--I know there have been several comments left over the last few months that I didn't answer yet, and I'm sorry about that, but I haven't much been in the mood for anything fandom-related, or even interaction in general. We've been having issues with my nutty grandmother for a long time now: she fell and broke her hip right before Christmas last, and that touched off a whole storm of things; most importantly, she couldn't left on her own anymore and so had to give up the apartment she'd lived in for the last thirty years and move into residential care at a hospital. That in turn led to suicide threats and hysterical fits aimed directly at my father and aunt because she couldn't live like that, they took everything from her, etc. etc. My grandmother is a past hand at manipulating her children and with this new turn of events she cranked things up to eleven.

And then we found out that the stomach pains and bowel issues she'd been complaining of for over ten years (but would never see a doctor about, because as I mentioned, she's more than a little crazy) were actually the warning symptoms of ovarian cancer. Ovarian cancer that had spread tumors throughout her stomach and bowels: it was only when her stomach began blowing up like a balloon did the doctors realize that something deeply wrong was going on and sent her for testing. If she didn't start undergoing chemotherapy, the doctors said, the bowel tumors would continue to grow until they created a total bowel obstruction and she would be dead within six months. Of course, the irony here is that if she hadn't fallen and been forced to give up her apartment, she would have likely continued to ignore her stomach pains until the cancer progressed so far that we would probably would have either found her dead in the apartment one day or she would have collapsed and then we would have found out that she was riddled with cancer and past the point of no return.

So now she's started the chemotherapy and things seem to be going okay so far with that, but she's still incredibly difficult to deal with and is steadily driving everyone in the family out of their minds. Since I still live at home, I have no real buffer from any of this, which leads to funtime unsettling situations like hearing my mother tell my father that maybe they should go shopping at the discount casket store for my grandmother right after my father said he needs to get my grandmother a new cell phone. Normally I somewhat admire my mother's extreme pragmatism but that's just going a leeetle too far.

And I'm just concerned and annoyed with a lot of things in general: the economy, should I see about going back to grad school and get another degree so I don't get pigeonholed into administrative assistant hell forever, goddamnit I really want to get out of my house and live on my own again but I don't make enough money after my student loan payments, etc., to afford anything here because this is one of the most expensive areas in the country, but moving isn't really an option either because things are lousy everywhere and I'd have no social safety net if things did go badly, but I want to have my own place damnit, and argh. My job is boring and there's never enough work for me to do to keep constantly busy and it doesn't pay enough for me to live independently, and it's low-level and there is absolutely no room for advancement unless my supervisor decides to leave (which she won't: she'll be hanging on to her job tooth and nail until she either decides she's had enough or something forces her out, and given that she's only in her early sixties, she'll probably cling for several more years yet) and I'm really bored by it, but it's a job, and it's reasonable and it has really good benefits and this is the best group of people I've worked with in, well, ever, aside from my supervisor, who can be deeply obnoxious at times, but she's not as bad as some of the other bosses I've had, and the coworker who shares my office, who has been really getting on my nerves lately. Don't get me wrong: I do like her a lot, even though she annoys the fucking hell out of me on a regular basis, but one: she can't shut up and stop talking (especially about herself) so I usually spend my days being assaulted by a constant stream of inane chatter; two: this woman, who claims to be a liberal, is deeply and thoroughly racist and displays it constantly enough that I frequently have to restrain an urge to jump on her and start smacking some goddamn sense into her brain. This type of mindset seems to be endemic to her peer group, which also happens to be the group my parents and supervisor belong to (late fifties to early sixties, grew up around NYC + suburbs) and I am so, so fucking tired of seeing it from this age cohort: I'm sure there are people from this peer group that aren't racist, but I'm sure as hell not meeting them. These are the people who are literally holding society back.

Sample conversation (this actually happened on Friday):

Her: blah, blah, talking about son (who can do no wrong except when he's doing wrong) "and I told (son) a long time ago that he's forbidden to marry an Indian woman!"

Me: not really surprised at hearing this shit again: first it's the Jews, then it's the Muslims, then it's black people, etc., *shoots her hard-eyed sideways glance* "And just why is that?"

Her: *flustered because she can see that I'm not pleased with this shit* "Well, they're all so arrogant and they think they know best and they're always acting so superior...I will not have anyone in my family looking at
me like they think they're better than me! No one is better than me! *beat* And no one is worse than me--everyone's equal."

Me: (uh, yeah, and you obviously don't quite grasp the implications of that last statement) "You know, India's a huge country and it's not like all Indian people have the exact same mindset-- for example, what about Indians who have lived here for several generations already? And there are a lot of ethnic and religious subgroups in India, so you reallycan't say that all Indians are the same..."

Her: "Indians who have been here for years already are very rare! And if there are a lot of Indian subgroups, well then that just means you should really stay away from them, because that means infighting and ethnic war!"

Me: *gives the fuck up*

Daily life for Amaiko, ladies and gentlemen. Good night.


Muma IX: A Bird in the Hand

Muma IX Draftiness of draft.

I know it's been a while, but it's almost done. Seriously. Essere calmo (mind you, I am half Italian and have no idea if that's correct). Here's a fragment to chew on for the wait.

Why yes, I did pick the weirdest part to post now that you mention it...Collapse )

re: ff.net reviews

Well, I was going to write some more porn first, but if you feel that strongly about it....I keed, I keed. I really do need to get that next chapter going and out.

Though, when people remind me that I am as slow as frozen molasses getting out fic, I have to admit that sometimes it makes me reconsider ever trying to publish my original fic professionally: I know damn well that I'm slow as fuck when it comes to writing and like to torture people with hints and cliffhangers, which does not make for patient readers. Hmmm. I could end up a female G.R.R.R. Martin, with hundreds of thousands of posts from frustrated readers screaming for my blood and the next book in the same breath.

...Especially since I've been working on my main series since I was ten and it's still evolving all the damn time! That's nearly twenty years! And it's no closer to being fully written than when I first started thinking of it in fifth grade!

Yup, I better make damn sure everything's all nice and completed before I even think of professional publishing.


So, um, Kabuto is back in the manga as of this chapter. Yup.

I'M SCARED. ;-; I can't dream of Kabuto quietly spending the rest of the manga in safe off-page obscurity where Kishi can't fuck with him more than he already has any more! He's going to join the Humiliation Conga line that every character has been forced through since the timeskip! I CAN FEEL IT.


On the other hand, no matter what Kishi does with him, it ain't affecting Muma or any of my other fic, so that's that.

On the third hand, the spoilers claim that Kabuto has apparently gotten his body and powers under control, so maaaybe no hideous deformities. Though, according to Ohana (one of the main source of spoilers on the Japanese end), Kabuto "looks skinnier" and has long hair in a kind of "lackluster style". (NERD. STILL NERD.) I figure Ohana would have mentioned if Kabuto looked especially odd or disturbing...but there's also a possibility that Kishi kept his full appearance obscured.

I guess we'll see when the chapter comes out... WOE.

EDIT after viewing the raw:

1. Whoa. Kabuto's not deformed now, he's fucking hot. And he kept the glasses this time. Unf.

2. But looking a little too much like Oro for my tastes. I like nerd him.

3. Why has Kishi ripped off Soul Eater and given Kabuto Medusa's hood. I hate Medusa.

4. Hot or not, it's still not going to stop Kishi from fucking him over like everyone else though.


meme I haz done

I did the meme that's been going around lately--pick one sentence from a work in progress/planned work and post it--and cheated. But I doubt anyone will mind.

meme meme memeCollapse )


my fandoms, let me show you them.

SNOW DAY! So, have a post I've been meaning to make for a while, featuring the openings of every fandom I'm currently into.

Anime Fandoms

Baccano!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81xNE3VrD0Y
Love this show. Opening song: Gun's and Roses by Paradise Lunch.

Bonus!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5iFD6LmKi4
Gun's and Roses mixed with the opening to the movie Snatch. It fits eerily well, to the point where I suspect the Baccano! anime opening was more than a little influenced by the movie opening...

New series by the creator of Baccano!, looks to be just as awesome. Opening song: Uragiri no Yuuyake (Sunset of Betrayal) by Theatre Brook.

Mononoke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98bUgrI3Mbk
Not to be confused with Mononoke-hime, it's a show about a decidedly strange apothecary traveling Old Japan in search of mononoke, beasts born of the thwarted desires of humans. The art in this series is something else and I dare anyone to watch the "Noppera-bou" episode without sobbing like a baby at the end. Opening song: Kagen no Tsuki (The Last Quarter of the Moon) by Ryouta Komatsu and Charlie Kosei.

Princess Tutu: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsipExvcHgM
Who knew a show about a ballet dancing duck could be so awesome? Opening song: Morning Grace by Ritsuko Okazaki

Samurai Champloo :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUMbyDUWMhk
AKA the only series I've ever written fic for besides Naruto and Wild Arms 3. This contains both the opening and ending for Samurai Champloo: the ending is a favorite of mine, so I chose a video with both.
Opening song: Battlecry by Nujabes. Ending song: Shiki no Uta (The Song of the Four Seasons) by Nujabes, featuring Minmi.

Shoujo Kakumei Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSfJ4dlSNkk
An oldie, but still one of the best. Opening song: Rinbu Revolution (Dance Wheel Revolution) by Masami Okui.

Soul Eater OP 01: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX26MLlRfws
AKA "A shounen manga where girls are actually allowed to be strong, bad-ass and the main character."
Opening song: Resonance by TM Revolution.

OP 02: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGEmhldSO_s&feature=related
Opening song: Paper Moon by Tommy Heavenly 6.

Umineko no Naku Koro ni (original sound novel): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk11mQJID04
Opening to the fourth episode, Alliance of the Golden Witch. Opening Song: Umineko no Naku Koro ni (When the Seagulls Cry) by Akiko Shikata. Yes, the incredibly amateur artwork is intentional: Ryukishi7, the series' creator, draws everything himself, and while not technically the best, his drawings have their own charm.

Umineko no Naku Koro ni Chiru (original sound novel): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lJQmHsRmdc&hd=1 (This is the HD version, so older/slower computers might not be able to handle it well).
This is the opening for episode 5, the first one in the "Chiru" arcs: I'm not using the opening for episode 6 because it contains a whacking huge spoiler for the series with the first few seconds of the video. Opening song: Occultics no Majo (The Witch of Occultics) by Ayumu (Zwei).

Umineko no Naku Koro ni (the anime) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSKXThy8Rew
This is the fourth and final version of the anime's opening, featuring every witch, every demon and every human character with the exception of characters who only appear starting in Chiru. Opening song: Katayoku no Tori (The One-Winged Bird) by Akiko Shikata.

Bonus!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgwQXlteeWc
The ending song to the Umineko anime, La Divina Tragedia ~ Makyoku (The Divine Tragedy ~ A Demonic Tune), aka BEST SONG EVER. There is something very satisfying about wandering around your house belting out "Yami no kirisaku OH DESIRE!" at the top of your lungs when no one else is around to call you crazy. Sung by Jimang of Sound Horizon.

Umineko is probably my primary fandom right now, though I mostly lurk: I might be able to write fic for it once the series ends and we know what the bloody hell is going on. It's far more satisfying than Naruto for a number of reasons, chiefly that, as the openings make clear, Umineko's cast is heavily female dominated, and each of the major female characters are not only strongly developed, they actually receive most of the plot focus and characterization, to the point where the male characters (aside from Battler, the male lead) could be said to be a little underdeveloped and under-used compared to them. Also, aside from the ridiculous outfits worn by the Stakes, Siesta Sisters and Eiserne Jungfrau and anime Shannon's overly-inflated breasts (which were entirely the doing of the anime design team), Umineko is very low on fanservice, though very, very high on graphic and unsettling violence. Ryukishi7 is some kind of psychotic genius and either an English major's greatest dream or worst nightmare: Umineko takes "meta" to a whole new level and story structure, as a concept, is a huge, huge influence on the plot's mysteries.

Plus, I love Virgilia and am so dressing up as her next Halloween if I can get the costume together.

TV Shows and Video GamesCollapse )


Sublimation (2/2) [KabuHina, NC-17]

True story: one day, I was doing one of my occasional Google searches to see whether someone that's not me might have actually written or posted something KabuHina-related. For once, it actually turned up something: a recent RP log with an incredible, in-character Kabuto and an incredible, in-character Hinata and they were developing a relationship with each other! It was well written! There was tension! She brought him at a slave auction for $100,000! They looked like they were getting involved! For once, SOMEONE ELSE was writing KabuHina!

Annnnd then the original Hinata dropped out and that plot went crashing into nothingness. Apparently, the moral of this story is that the universe has willed that I, and I alone, will be writing KabuHina fic if I want to actually see any.

I have, in the past, actually considered finding an RP, taking on Kabuto or Hinata and see if I could develop something that way. But that would require finding someone who not only could play a good Kabuto or Hinata, they would also have to be amiable to starting a KabuHina plot line, and frankly, I really don't have the time: it takes me long enough just to write fic as it is. Oh well.

On an actual, on-topic note: This fic probably wins the "fic that did not even remotely match what I originally had in my head" award. Aside from the last two chapters of Muma, I have never had more trouble writing a fic then this one: it would not let itself be written and when it did, it didn't match the plot I had inside my head. For example: originally, Kabuto was supposed to start suspecting that Sasuke is spying on him and Hinata when they're together (spoiler: he is); he was also supposed to brood briefly over the fact that there are large chunks of his past that he can't remember thanks to Sasori's manipulations and therefore he can't really be sure he was a sexually blank slate before Hinata (also, Daddy Issues because his father never noticed anything was wrong while he was under Sasori's control), and finally, Kabuto was supposed to have a serious reflection at the end over whether he's growing too attached to Hinata and what he's going to do about it.

Suffice to say that none of the above happens and will have to be worked into other fic.

Also: wtf, has all the NejiHina fandom dried up and blown away?

I will concentrate on not forgiving even the slightest mistakeCollapse )

Sublimation (1/2) [KabuHina, NC-17]

I told y'all the next one would be porn. :D

This, as you can see by the "part one of two" was going to be much longer, but for some reason, this fic would _not_write. I had it in my head, but once I actually started to type it just sputtered and died and I probably spent about an hour muttering "Write, damn you, write! WHY WON'T YOU WRITE YOU FILTHY ROTTEN FILTHFIC, WHY YOU-"

So, fun times. It was getting late, and I have a headache and a dishwasher to empty, so I cut it in two and will follow up with the rest reasonably soon.

Originally named "Attrition" but then I started listening to this song (it's one of my favorites, btw) on repeat and it renamed itself abruptly. The title fits, the lyrics not so much.

Assume all porn is !Pornverse unless otherwise noted. :D

Let's praise our own sublimation!Collapse )